Insights with Us

S1E26 Finding Freedom with Krisa Gonna L'Whor

We are all raised to think, act, and believe a certain way. What if you realize how you were raised does not fit who you are? Would you continue to pretend to be someone you’re not, or would you find a way to be authentically you? In this episode, I speak with a kind and accepting human who broke free from the rules of others and built a life of freedom and safety while helping others feel the same. Join myself and Krisa Gonna L’Whor as we explore freedom, building insight into our authentic selves, and the strength it takes to be that person, even when the world is telling you not to be. 
 
Check Socials for Upcoming Events:
@krisagonna 
Watch Krisa’s Ted Talk here: https://youtu.be/c28KESnrzEo?si=mEqOku9qoBac1Ppy
Watch Krisa’s animated movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhWfVF0nP4I
What you can expect from this episode: 
2:00 Introductions 
3:30 Rules we are taught as children to survive 
5:50 Making sense of the world
12:30 Unspoken moments of safety
16:35 Building and understanding who you are, away from rules
 22:08 Authenticity
26:50 Changing the rules and trusting it will get better
35:00 What helps you feel safe?
44:50 Dream big, but know our reality
50:22 A message for our allies: be a safe person (especially during holidays)
56:00 Finding small spaces where you feel safe and build from there

S1E25 Friendship Part 2: Trust and Vulnerability

True and deep friendships are great, but how do you even find them? Once you think you’ve found one, how do you strengthen it? What does it mean to be yourself, even if you feel like being who you are won’t be accepted? Listen to this episode on friendship and maybe find some answers. 
 
What you can expect from this episode:
1:48 Separate yourself from the situation
3:40 Vulnerability as a factor in friendship
9:00 Going through similar seasons together
11:00 The connection between trust and vulnerability
15:04 Do you have any advice for anyone trying to build friendships?
19:46 Feeling safe to be yourself
29:52 Find your space first, make friends second
35:55 Having uncomfortable conversations helps friendships grow
38:45 Do you have any advice for your younger self?
50:55 Your friendships can help you process what’s happening in your life
 

S1E24 Why Are We So Separate?

Numerous people this week have asked me the same questions over and over: Why are we so separate? Why is there so much hate? How can we build a better world when we are so divided? Today I will explore this separation and what it would mean to find connection and acceptance. 
 
1:50 Intentions for this episode
2:55 Division across the American nation
3:38 Staying inside our bubbles feels safe, but then we lose insight and understanding
6:54 Having conversations with people different from us is how we know ourselves and the world
10:45 Finding your own faith, and accepting others living their faith their own way
13:00 A little aside on supporting the life of a child
13:57 Everyone’s opinion matters, every life matters
15:30 Look to your leaders and notice their language
16:50 I will fight for what choice gives the most people the most freedom
17:45 Find one safe person to start conversing with

S1E23 Friendship Part 1: Being Your True Self

What do your friendships look like? Do you want closer friendships? Do you want an incredible example of what a close friendship can look like? Today I am joined by two people who have been friends for almost 30 years. We talk about going through the seasons, growing older together, and staying connected no matter what changes in our lives. I’ve had so many people tell me, “I’m never going to be open or vulnerable like that, it’s just how things are,” but what if it doesn’t have to be like that? What if you could choose? Find some curiosity and join us today. 
 
What you can expect from this episode:
3:02 How do you view friendships?
10:30 Being able to communicate who we are and accepting our differences
12:40 The story of a decade-long friendship
14:30 Bonding over shared experiences
17:43 Spending time together
21:30 How do you keep the friendship alive over time?
29:41 Pure, wholesome love without barriers
32:50 Showing up as yourself in the friendship
42:15 The importance of transparency 
46:48 We all hate walking on eggshells

S1E22 Identities Upon Identities

Identities can seem like a complicated topic, but it’s actually quite simple. It is who you are. Are you a mother? Child free? Deciding (check out my last episode)? Are you a jock, a nerd, a mixture of the two? Are you male, female, nonbinary? Identities are a personal experience that only you can know, and while understanding your identity and being able to name those labels does not change who you are, for some it can be important to explore. 
 
In today’s episode, I will guide you through the different ways we can identify, and in the second half will guide you through a resource to help you understand the different ways you can show up in your gender, gender expression, sexuality, and sex. 
 
Resource:
The Gender Unicorn

S1E21 Perks of Being Child Free with Rae

Do you want children? Ever curious about your options? In this episode, Rae shares her personal journey and choice of becoming permanently child free. We explore her perspectives, navigate stigma, she guides us through the surgery, and we talk about different roles we can all play in our communities. Not everyone has to be a parent. And not everyone has to be child-free. Whatever you choose is right for you, just as our choices are right for us. 
 
If you want to support me financially, you can find Insights with Us on Podbean's patron program https://patron.podbean.com/insightswithus or at buymeacoffee.com/insightswithus
What you will find in this episode:
2:50 How did you know being child free is what you wanted?
6:24 Exploring what having a family can mean
11:00 Modern Anarchy the podcast and Rae’s first processing of her sterilization, being honest about how we feel towards children
13:00 Navigating comments from society
19:56 The privilege of choosing sterilization
21:40 Details of the procedure and healing
25:28 Post-recovery: It was worth it
26:09 Meeting a partner after making the choice 
28:28 Unlocking a different kind of life
31:43 Is there anything you wish you could tell your past self?
33:00 The problem with Birth Control is... 
41:21 Perks of a Childfree Life
47:39 Prioritizing Rest and a slow lifestyle
58:53 I'm not a monster because I don't want kids, and I don't judge you for wanting kids. 
1:01:00 Research on regret
1:06:00 Choose what is right for you, growing old, and final thoughts

S1E20 Try Getting to Know a Part of You

In this short episode, I invite you to try an exercise where you can get to know one of your parts. I recommend finding a quiet space to slow down and invite curiosity into your space. This exercise is an insight tool to help you understand your internal world a little better!
 
In this episode, expect to slow down, notice your reactions without judgment, and be ready to explore what comes up for you.
 
Resources:
No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz

S1E19 Authenticity and Art with Steffie Notion

Self-love and authenticity can be challenging, but sometimes changing our perspective and viewing ourselves as art helps us see the beauty within. Listen in as I talk to Steffie, an artist with a focus on body positivity and creating an authentic and accepting space for anyone who needs it. We blur the lines between art and life and talk about creating art, self-perception and body acceptance, and even relationships and being true to ourselves around others. 
 
Find Steffie and their work:
asubtlenotion.com
@asubtlenotion 
 
In this episode:
1:45 Discovering play in art, understanding bodies, and adapting clothes to fit you. 
10:00 Returning to yourself in art and exploration of identity
16:15 Finding your own personal style, flexibility, and showing up as you are
18:00 Art and life and how their overlap
20:30 Authenticity and showing up for yourself individually and in relationships
31:50 Challenges of accepting bodies and sexuality
36:10 Being true to yourself helps other be authentic
38:40 Body positivity through art 
44:30 What are your current dreams?
47:22 How to start the self love journey (with art)?
49:20 Comparison is the Theif of Joy (if you fall into the trap)
53:40 More about A Subtle Notion
 
Other named resource:
Denver Queer Art Club
 
 
 

S1E18 The Purpose of Emotion

Why do we feel what we feel? Sometimes they can feel pointless or like they are just getting in our way, but they exist for a reason. If it was useless, you wouldn’t be feeling it. In this episode, join me as I explore and share my perspective of different emotions and how I navigate it (especially if it’s uncomfortable). 
In this episode:
1:50 We cannot feel happy 100% of the time, and that's normal.
3:37 Comfortable emotions like happiness, joy, and peace
5:20 Difficulty sitting in comfortable emotions and how to give yourself permission.
9:09 Anxiety
10:11 Anger
12:40 Sadness and grief 
14:47 Disgust
15:50 Common experiences that we sometimes think are wrong
16:00 Numbness
18:20 Stuckness
19:47 Comparison
29:18 Our bodies are trying to help us

S1E17 The Evolution of Emotional Intelligence with Sadie

Do you ever feel like you are going around in circles, constantly revisiting old memories or events? In today’s episode Sadie and I explore this idea in relation to building emotional intelligence, or EQ, and talk about how to invite curiosity into those uncomfortable spaces. 
 
Resources:
Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko
Out of Love by Hazel Hayes
Mindsight by Dr. Daniel J Siegel 
 
What you’ll find in this episode:
3:00 Having new perspectives on old experiences. 
11:00 Vertical Integration and Mindsight by Dr. Siegel
14:20 Checking in with our bodies to see how we are doing and connecting to parts 
21:35 Developing curiosity and trust in yourself to do the work
29:00 Discomfort doesn’t have to be a bad thing
31:42: Noticing deeply held beliefs in new situations
37:08 Mindfulness as a lily pond and being flexible within your experience
46:14: “The goal of life isn’t to love yourself, it’s to love being yourself.” 
101:45: How I have shifted towards body positivity while my body changes.