Insights with Us

How do you get out of your head? How do you share gratitude? How do you slow down and remember what life has to offer?
 
Listen to an powerful advocate of slowing down and enjoying the little moments, and an influential person in my life. My coach, my counselor, Mr Gathercole. He spent most of his career working overseas as a school counselor and is now retired and working as a college admissions counselor helping young adults find their spark. 
 
What to expect from this episode:
2:25 How did you become a school counselor?
5:51 Living abroad
9:09 Lightbulb moments from your career
14:15 Learning from and trying to understand each other
22:30 We tend to underestimate ourselves
27:57 What makes you, you?
30:53 What are you grateful for?
36:04 How to get out of the details and enjoy existence?
43:00 Following dreams, chronic pain, and gratitude

What does it mean to show up as your true self? What does showing up authentically mean? Some assume it’s being the same way 100% of the time and never shifting or changing depending on the situation, but this does not allow for flexibility within your experience. Join me as I talk about the differences in authenticity and how to find balance within your social circles. 
 
What to expect in this episode:
1:15 Putting on a mask and pretending
2:40 Aggressive authenticity
4:08 We are all different people with different needs
5:00 Listening to the inner voice
6:20 Examples of compassionate authenticity
9:10 Compassionate Authenticity
9:39 How do I know what is authentic for me? 
11:48 Give people space to show up. It’s okay to walk away if they can’t.
14:00 Find your safe people

“It is not normal to be in pain, it has just been normalized.” 
Have you ever had an experience that felt just awful, and then you share it with a friend, and you end up laughing about it? Us too. In today’s episode, I connect with the author of the Awfully Hilarious series, Heather Hendrie. We talk about her books, building connection through discomfort, being seen, and how to navigate the throws of being human.
Learn more about Awfully Hilarious at: www.awfullyhilarious.com
Learn more about Heather Hendrie at: www.heatherhendrie.com
 
Socials:
@awfullyhilarious
@heather.hendrie
 
What you can expect from this episode:
00:55 Introductions with Heather Hendrie
2:56 What are the Awfully Hilarious books? 
7:48 It’s okay to talk about women’s health
12:20 Who are we behind the mask? Transpersonal therapy.
16:20 Overcoming the fear of talking about taboo topics
23:14 Talking openly helps us all be ourselves, no matter who you are
28:00 Connection matters, and therapy might be the only connection for some
29:15 More about the authors of the short stories in Awfully Hilarious
34:40 Misdiagnosis in women’s health and PMDD
43:40 You are trying hard enough, it isn’t always the answer to try harder.
47:00 Blue Zones and Connection Points
50:00 Hope for our future and future generations
55:30 Read Awfully Hilarious, and a plug for future projects
 
Resources from this episode:
Lucy Peach - The Period Queen
Shalene Gupta - The Cycle 
Liz Plank - For the Love of Men
 
Shopping for these amazing books:
If you’d like to buy the books and are in North America:
https://bookshop.org/a/99252/9781738803507
https://bookshop.org/a/99252/9781738803521
 
If you live internationally, you can find the books here:
awfully hilarious pp paperback
https://amzn.to/3YoN2jP
 
" kindle
https://amzn.to/3YjXp7r
 
awfully hilarious stories paperback
https://amzn.to/3zRsZkJ
 
" kindle
https://amzn.to/3BWmH3M
 
 

We are all raised to think, act, and believe a certain way. What if you realize how you were raised does not fit who you are? Would you continue to pretend to be someone you’re not, or would you find a way to be authentically you? In this episode, I speak with a kind and accepting human who broke free from the rules of others and built a life of freedom and safety while helping others feel the same. Join myself and Krisa Gonna L’Whor as we explore freedom, building insight into our authentic selves, and the strength it takes to be that person, even when the world is telling you not to be. 
 
Check Socials for Upcoming Events:
@krisagonna 
Watch Krisa’s Ted Talk here: https://youtu.be/c28KESnrzEo?si=mEqOku9qoBac1Ppy
Watch Krisa’s animated movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhWfVF0nP4I
What you can expect from this episode: 
2:00 Introductions 
3:30 Rules we are taught as children to survive 
5:50 Making sense of the world
12:30 Unspoken moments of safety
16:35 Building and understanding who you are, away from rules
 22:08 Authenticity
26:50 Changing the rules and trusting it will get better
35:00 What helps you feel safe?
44:50 Dream big, but know our reality
50:22 A message for our allies: be a safe person (especially during holidays)
56:00 Finding small spaces where you feel safe and build from there

True and deep friendships are great, but how do you even find them? Once you think you’ve found one, how do you strengthen it? What does it mean to be yourself, even if you feel like being who you are won’t be accepted? Listen to this episode on friendship and maybe find some answers. 
 
What you can expect from this episode:
1:48 Separate yourself from the situation
3:40 Vulnerability as a factor in friendship
9:00 Going through similar seasons together
11:00 The connection between trust and vulnerability
15:04 Do you have any advice for anyone trying to build friendships?
19:46 Feeling safe to be yourself
29:52 Find your space first, make friends second
35:55 Having uncomfortable conversations helps friendships grow
38:45 Do you have any advice for your younger self?
50:55 Your friendships can help you process what’s happening in your life
 

Numerous people this week have asked me the same questions over and over: Why are we so separate? Why is there so much hate? How can we build a better world when we are so divided? Today I will explore this separation and what it would mean to find connection and acceptance. 
 
1:50 Intentions for this episode
2:55 Division across the American nation
3:38 Staying inside our bubbles feels safe, but then we lose insight and understanding
6:54 Having conversations with people different from us is how we know ourselves and the world
10:45 Finding your own faith, and accepting others living their faith their own way
13:00 A little aside on supporting the life of a child
13:57 Everyone’s opinion matters, every life matters
15:30 Look to your leaders and notice their language
16:50 I will fight for what choice gives the most people the most freedom
17:45 Find one safe person to start conversing with

What do your friendships look like? Do you want closer friendships? Do you want an incredible example of what a close friendship can look like? Today I am joined by two people who have been friends for almost 30 years. We talk about going through the seasons, growing older together, and staying connected no matter what changes in our lives. I’ve had so many people tell me, “I’m never going to be open or vulnerable like that, it’s just how things are,” but what if it doesn’t have to be like that? What if you could choose? Find some curiosity and join us today. 
 
What you can expect from this episode:
3:02 How do you view friendships?
10:30 Being able to communicate who we are and accepting our differences
12:40 The story of a decade-long friendship
14:30 Bonding over shared experiences
17:43 Spending time together
21:30 How do you keep the friendship alive over time?
29:41 Pure, wholesome love without barriers
32:50 Showing up as yourself in the friendship
42:15 The importance of transparency 
46:48 We all hate walking on eggshells

Identities can seem like a complicated topic, but it’s actually quite simple. It is who you are. Are you a mother? Child free? Deciding (check out my last episode)? Are you a jock, a nerd, a mixture of the two? Are you male, female, nonbinary? Identities are a personal experience that only you can know, and while understanding your identity and being able to name those labels does not change who you are, for some it can be important to explore. 
 
In today’s episode, I will guide you through the different ways we can identify, and in the second half will guide you through a resource to help you understand the different ways you can show up in your gender, gender expression, sexuality, and sex. 
 
Resource:
The Gender Unicorn

Do you want children? Ever curious about your options? In this episode, Rae shares her personal journey and choice of becoming permanently child free. We explore her perspectives, navigate stigma, she guides us through the surgery, and we talk about different roles we can all play in our communities. Not everyone has to be a parent. And not everyone has to be child-free. Whatever you choose is right for you, just as our choices are right for us. 
 
If you want to support me financially, you can find Insights with Us on Podbean's patron program https://patron.podbean.com/insightswithus or at buymeacoffee.com/insightswithus
What you will find in this episode:
2:50 How did you know being child free is what you wanted?
6:24 Exploring what having a family can mean
11:00 Modern Anarchy the podcast and Rae’s first processing of her sterilization, being honest about how we feel towards children
13:00 Navigating comments from society
19:56 The privilege of choosing sterilization
21:40 Details of the procedure and healing
25:28 Post-recovery: It was worth it
26:09 Meeting a partner after making the choice 
28:28 Unlocking a different kind of life
31:43 Is there anything you wish you could tell your past self?
33:00 The problem with Birth Control is... 
41:21 Perks of a Childfree Life
47:39 Prioritizing Rest and a slow lifestyle
58:53 I'm not a monster because I don't want kids, and I don't judge you for wanting kids. 
1:01:00 Research on regret
1:06:00 Choose what is right for you, growing old, and final thoughts

In this short episode, I invite you to try an exercise where you can get to know one of your parts. I recommend finding a quiet space to slow down and invite curiosity into your space. This exercise is an insight tool to help you understand your internal world a little better!
 
In this episode, expect to slow down, notice your reactions without judgment, and be ready to explore what comes up for you.
 
Resources:
No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz